It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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