Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
