I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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