i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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