i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
