dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
