So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
they're like a gay fantastic four
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
