So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
