I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
