so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
