i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
