what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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