yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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