Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
