if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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