Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize
