True but thats because hes a fetus.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
