whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Where is the hickey?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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