bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
