You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
