Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
