Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Your penis caused this!
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