Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
