He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
