we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
