I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
