She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
