White coat. Heels.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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