am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
