Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just made my gag reflex go away.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
