If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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