i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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