I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Less talking, more tequila
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
