i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
