well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
