How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
