Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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