3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
