Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I've blown a few things in my day
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
