when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
