haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
