check it out our google latitudes are spooning
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
