Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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