An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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