If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
