My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
