If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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