Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
