I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
