i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
